It feels nice to be alone once in a while. Minding my own business at the gym, I figured, ‘why not eat a katsudon meal at a nearby udon restaurant (Takoyadon)?’ It is a Saturday, and I have not much to do, and deadlines can wait. I do not want to go home right away, since it is too noisy and distracting. Don’t get me wrong though, I love my noisy family!
It’s just that when I am outside, alone, it feels kind of serene. Especially now that the weather feels nice. At night, the wind is cold but not harsh. I like how it whispers to me, I love how it tries to embrace me as if it is giving me an assurance that all will be fine. Don’t even get me started on the clear night sky! These past few months have been unpleasant if we’re going to talk about the state of the sky. Tonight, rather the whole day, though, the sky is delightfully clear, the moon lucid, clouds respecting their distance from the lune. Bear with me — I’m trying my best here to immerse you without the use of photographs and images! Not that my phone can help capture that feeling anyway. Hello? iPhones suck at night.
When outside, I could focus on things that are not part of the main quest, so to speak. I mean, there is no computer tempting me to do my pending schoolworks or even play games or binge watch a TV show. Outside, I focus on my body. At the gym, I try my best to finish the set to failure. Not only that, I exploit my resting time in-between sets by reading a book. Tonight, I’m at Chapter 45 of Kafka on the Shore. Mr. Nakata died in this chapter. Apropos of nothing, tonight is also when I’m trying to write and journal for the first time in a while. 😳
Apart from reading, it’s also nice to walk and exchange glances with people I don’t know. However, going outside in quest for peace and solitude also has its demerits: I get to observe the harshness of reality. Most of the time, I get to encounter people that makes me feel helpless. I even encountered a poor old man on the way home. Judging by his clothes, he seemed to be walking home after his DOLE-TUPAD activity. While it is nice to know there is a program for displaced people like him, I can’t help but think: is it enough? I mean, he walks home after the program. If it is enough, couldn’t he ride a jeep home?
So there, pursuing solitude gives you a lot of insights about your identity and views about the world. If I stayed home the whole time, this journal entry wouldn’t exist. I would be in front of the computer either playing games or just finishing the unending schoolworks — ha! such a main quest energy. Every now and then it’s nice to dive into side quests. They might not always feel great, but they certainly teach you a lesson or two.